Birthdays: Just Another Day?

A friend said to me once that birthdays were just another day. And I agree.

Well, almost.

When birthdays come for me, I often wonder what all the fuss is about. Other people want to celebrate it more than I do:

“What are you doing for your birthday man? We should go celebrate! Waaaaay!”

“Are you celebrating your birthday this year? What are you planning to do?”

“Got any plans Sai?”

Everytime I do celebrate, it’s always at least mildly interesting. But everytime I do nothing, something always gnaws at the back of my mind, no matter how much I decide that it’s going to be a normal day:

“Yay. I’m 24. Ok, birthday celebrations are over; time to watch some porn.

“Hmm…should I do something tonight? I mean, there still is time…naaah, can’t be bothered.

“There still is time, you know. Maybe a quick birthday drink? No, wait, it’s going to just be another day fending off drunken pandas…”

And so on. By the day’s end, there is a uneasy regret that I really should’ve done something to celebrate.

This need to celebrate comes from a number of things. First, I have a lack of friends, full stop. Second, I have a lack of friends I see on a regular basis. Third, it would just be nice for once if someone else planned my birthday instead of myself.^*

It’s hypocritical, I know. I want the day to be a normal day so I don’t have to deal with disappointment and regret but if I do nothing then I have to deal with disappointment and regret. I want my cake and I damn well want to eat it.

So for now, it’s an uneasy truce. I’ll continue to celebrate any birthdays that come my way, but I do it ironically. Oh yeah.

*Yes, a birthday was planned for me once, sort of. It was very last minute and it went catastrophically bad because that day I really, really, really didn’t want to celebrate it. I had a few arguments. The atmosphere was tense. I no longer speak to those friends. (not because of that day, but for other reasons, I think…?)

How to Sing 101 – 3 Unconventional Ideas on Singing

(Photo: epSos.de)

I’ve been working with Michael Mayer for a few months and learning how to sing is not what I expected; here are some concepts I’ve learned so far. Try them out and see how you get on!

1. Larynx awareness

Whenever we speak or sing, the sound is produced from the larynx. So it makes sense that we should also pronounce at the larynx. Michael likens this to the playing of a musical instrument. So for instance, when we play the violin, we play at the strings by bowing. We don’t bow the body of the instrument (the resonator). Similarly, because the mouth is a resonator, we should play our larynx like the way we play the violin.

To gain awareness of the larynx^[1], do a light cough or vocal fry (Elmer Fudd or Bill Clinton groggy sound). Try different forces of coughs until you get a light one that is just a click. Then click 2 times and say an “Ah!” like you’ve just understood something intriguing. Maintain your awareness at the larynx when saying “Ah!” Then try it with pitch with the same awareness e.g. a 1-2-3 scale.

2. Emotions

Singing with emotion isn’t just an interpretative, stylistic thing – it actually helps us in a physiological sense. Paraphrasing Michael, we make a true and complete vibration when the larynx is emotionally engaged. And by emotion I don’t just mean sadness or loss, but it can also mean joy, enthusiasm, or excitement. Above all, it means being definite when we sing. If we are ever blasé, apathetic, bored and try to sing in that state, it will sound crap and be physiologically crap too. The same excitement, emotion, energy when you cheer at a sports event, see your loved ones after a long trip or the shock when someone surprises you should be the types of state you are in before you try to sing anything.

3. Breathing, Breath Management and Breath Control

You may have come across many breathing exercises, such the slow hiss, inhaling and exhaling with ever increasing amount of time. These are helpful but they tend to encourage the idea of a steady release of air, which results in breathy singing. Breathy singing, though a nice sounding effect, causes a whole range of vocal problems such as irritated vocal cords, straining for high notes and lack of volume. What Michael has gotten me to do is to not let any air out whilst singing and maintain the breath pressure from inhalation, not letting anything collapse (especially the ribcage). Pronouncing with an emotional engagement at the larynx does the rest. The result is an efficient, non-breathy sound and consequently, you can hold notes for much longer too.

That’s it for now. Try it out, let me know how it goes!

Notes

[1]You may come across advice to not try to sense the larynx, and that is both correct and incorrect. This is because when things are working properly, we don’t feel the larynx but we sense that it’s there, like if you heard someone behind you, you sort of know they’re there. But trying not to be aware of the larynx is like suppressing emotions – it causes more problems than it solves.