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Sometimes an ending catches you unawares. No fanfare, no warning, just done.

On Monday 16th April, I was expecting to grind through another month and a half of work before a short holiday in June. By Tuesday afternoon I was no longer employed. In hindsight, the Monday evening dinner was an unintentional leaving do.

Long story short, health problems made a couple of doctors recommend not doing my physical job of lifting things up and putting them down.

As I write this on Wednesday it feels as if I’ve lost something. Like a multi-day event you don’t want to end or realising years later a once close friend is no longer a friend. The removal of such a huge structured part of my life has left me somewhat floundering.

The short term benefits are amazing. Lying in, no need to wake early, no need to lift heavy things, no need to deal with a colleague who needs to be right about everything, no feeling of the grind anymore. It’s great.

I didn’t do much today. Did some singing practise, some piano practise, browsed reddit compulsively again and again and again, and spent much of the day indoors. I only left the house to go for dinner and then went for a walk, sitting for a while in a little green bit before feeling inspired/itchy enough to begin writing this.

It feels twisty and knotty and turny as my psyche is adjusting to these turn of events.

What now? Find something else I guess.

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